Monthly Archives: December 2006

If You Tell Anyone

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it can no longer be a secret. Because, according to the definition, (care of dictionary.com), a secret is something “done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others.” So, in telling anyone without firsthand knowledge, the secret looses all integrity and can no longer function as it was originally intended. Why would anyone want to dishonor the credibility of a secret? Hmm, I don’t know. Why do people thrive on knowing what other people’s beeswax? In business it is referred to as corporate espionage; in government it is just called espionage; and if you pry into other’s affairs it is called being nosy. On the other hand, if you freely disseminate this information it is considered gossip. I’m sure some of us can relatE!. I suppose it is beneficial to know other people’s secrets – as much as we may or may not like them. I hunger to know what is on the backside of every innocent, “never mind,” or,…

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Patients in the Waiting Room

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Forget the fact that most physician’s and doctor’s offices require you arrive on-time, then the receptionist mis-pronounces your name when they call you to the front – 30-minutes later. No, that is fine – we’re all used to that. The magazine situation, however, has got to change. Not necessarily the selection – because I enjoy Ingram’s, Shape and Highlights just as much as the next person. It is the dates adorning their covers that perturbs me. Every now-and-then you can find a Sports Illustrated, but you know it isn’t relevant when Larry Bird and Charles Barkley are on the cover. The lackluster magazine expiration dates disrupt people’s ability to wait, hence derailing the entire idea behind the room itself – to do just that. Therefore, I came up with a simple solution that any private practice and hospital can employ: Instead of bringing in the tattered old issues from home, why not get a subscription for the room? This way,…

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Good Fortune

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If there were a short story about fortune cookies, it may read something like this: Fortune cookies. They are crunchy, tasty and contain wisdom. Occasionally, they also have self-proclaimed lucky numbers and a brief saying in the English language which is then spelled out in Chinese. And, a note from the author: “I hope you weren’t expecting more.” So, the reason I brought fortune cookies to the table, (puns are so underrated), is because during a creative-writing meeting, (the hyphen between “creative” and “writing” is optional, because the meeting is a creative one about writing and also one about creative writing), the group leader used the fortunes as our “sparks” to help us begin the exercise. I, being intrinsically blessed with a marketing mind, began to explore other possibilities. So, instead of writing a fortune for the person I most despise – because I couldn’t think of anyone*, instead thought up a great idea for an advertising campaign for an…

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Ap(Pending) Success

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Anyone remember Crystal Clear Pepsi? It flopped. How about New Coke, (the unofficial name of Coke’s new, sweeter formula in 1985)? It also met strong public disapproval. I’ll step away from soda examples – Paris Hilton’s music career (“lack of” = a better description)? The point I am trying to make is that just because something is popular or well-received by the public, you should not conclude that when a brand is affixed to a new product line, industry or re-design, it will experience the same success as its predecessor. A recent example of this is the newest edition to the American Pie quintrilogy – American Pie 5: Nude Mile. I think they should have called it quits with American Wedding, but I am not a decision maker in the matter. The commercial I watched which sparked my desire to blog this evening began like this: Narrator – “American Pie presents Nude Mile.” Eugene Levy speaks a couple of his…

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