Monthly Archives: October 2007

Fictionary

By | Peeks | One Comment

fict – ion – ar – y adjective, plural – ar – ies. 1. A person in love with the high-definition feed between the title and credits. We’re addicted to the happy ending. Moreover, we yearn to be a part of our own one-hundred-twenty-six minute masterpiece. Our nature is to believe that anything is possible – and it is, but human beings are too imperfect of creatures to recreate what we all endeavor to feel. Granted, there will be times when life comes close to mimicking the movies, but it may not be when you expect it, and you may not be paying enough attention to even acknowledge or respect it. The awkward silence that leads to “picture-perfect” is only capable on the other end of a convex glass disc. I have been told that life is not fair since I was about 110 pounds lighter, and I believe it every time – and, every time I share that same…

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Turns Out, It Is

By | Humor | No Comments

If you oversleep your alarm clock and are running late for work tomorrow and you need to come up with a good excuse as to why you’re late, use this one… Call your supervisor, wait for them to answer and repeat the following: Good morning, it’s (insert your name here). So, I woke up this morning and as it turns out, Delaware is actually a state! (This is where you have to sound excited and pretend that you previously didn’t know that Delaware is a state and is actually the first state – which you might actually not know.) Then continue on with how traumatized you were from finding all of this out that you spent twenty-minutes internally debating this with yourself (and your pillow). You would have come to work, however once you start the internal monologue, your psychologist has advised against interrupting the “other” personality. Let him or her know that you will be in to work once…

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I’m An Extra

By | Peeks | 4 Comments

I got tired of being asked what I am for Halloween. I’m me, the only difference between me and others on Halloween is that I’m not in a costume as something, or someone else. I don’t get into the Halloween spirit and I haven’t in several years. Waking up at eight in the morning is never among my favorite things to do, but when it is necessary to attend a K-State football game, I’ll gladly rise before nine. I spent four hours in a car, three hours in a parking lot and less than an hour in my assigned seat at the game, but it was well worth it. After the game, I returned home to find a few friends here slightly poised and ready to head to the bars. The lack of enthusiasm was just enough to persuade me to accompany them. I was already tired from my long day, but was coaxed into joining them anyway…I’m glad I…

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Ctrl+F Yourself

By | Peeks | No Comments

The saying goes: “There’s nothing you can’t do if you put your mind to it.” I now know there is at least one thing you can’t do, or at least I can’t do. The mind is powerful, but there are things you can’t do – even if you do put your all-powerful mind to them. This afternoon, between print approvals and production logs, I decided to peruse through the 434 email messages in my Gmail inbox and make some cuts. While I sifted through hundreds of six-kilobyte messages from co-workers, old friends and family members, I came upon one of the many emails I have forwarded to myself. At the job I held previous to my current, I would rarely use my work computer for leisure studies. Only if I arrived to work earlier than needed, or if I were staying later than normal would I venture outside the approved dot-coms, and my usual habit of staying late often allowed…

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Don’t Drink and Dream

By | Peeks | No Comments

I had a few drinks prior to going to bed last night, so my night cap looked like this: In my sleep I visited a bar. One could say that I went to a bar in my dreams. Please do not conclude that it was the bar of my dreams, though. Those are two very different destinations on the bar spectrum and as of this morning, I have only been to one. When I woke up this morning, I apparently left my tab open, because I couldn’t find my credit card. So, naturally I had to go back and retrieve it. I walked over to my alarm clock and set it for fifteen minutes past the current time and temp and went back for my card. While I was gone, or awake, someone racked up one hell of a tab, because when I closed my tab it was much higher than I expected – I didn’t even get to have…

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Butt Still

By | Peeks | No Comments

Waiting sucks. So do bad seats – both types; the kind that support your posterior from the confines of foam-filled cubicle walls and those that are distanced from the action…like sitting at Arrowhead with seats advertised as having a “great view” of the field. One must ask the question: “would that be an aerial view?” Might as well put a lawn chair in your front yard, lay a plasma TV on the ground at a 35-degree incline and sit facing it. Then, have 79,450 of your closest friends come over, scream in your ear, drink beer (up through the third quarter) and pee on your lawn, house, TV and left shoe. Be forewarned, the NFL will have your ass if someone not living in your household decides to sneak a peek. I’ve been waiting in this seat for eighteen minutes to think of something clever to hop through my thoughts. A little more than a minute ago, I caught it…

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