Monthly Archives: February 2009

Cut Your Budget

By | FYI, Items to Ponder | No Comments

Think you’re wasting money on crap you don’t need? That’s because you probably are. Save your fun budget…here are some areas you can evaluate to stimulate [the amount of] change [you have in your pocket]: Alcohol. Yes, you drink. The first step is acceptance. Support the High Life and toast with the Champagne of Beers. Don’t wear that. Yes, you’re afflicted with the un-explained phenomenon of purchasing foil-printed, over-priced t-shirts; but, that’s not the worst part…you actually wear them, too. Stop now…you’re not a cage fighter and your arms only look big because that is a smedium. Save paper. While I do believe in recycling…I’m referring to the paper clippings called coupons that one can collect from a couple hours of cutting up a Sunday paper. Eat at home. There’s no need to get all dressed up and go to the Olive Garden. Even if we were not in a recession, I would still give you trouble for dressing up…

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[Raise Your] Hand And Deliver

By | Humor | No Comments

Why do men put one hand above their head when urinating? Early this morning I caught myself doing exactly that – thankfully, because if I hadn’t, then I would have lost balance and Midas would have touched my shower. The classic one-hand-above-my-head-planted-against-the-wall pee. In my case, I put my raised hand against the cabinets on the wall behind my porcelain target. I have a few theories as to why this happens… Theory 1 – The Additional Bladder The muscles hold water. Men often try to increase the size of their muscles, most notably, their arms. Bigger arms hold more water and by raising your non-dominant hand (usually the larger arm), you’re allowing this additional water to exit. Theory 2 – Hi-five Practice Hey! Alright! Awesome! Sweet! – all great preemptive strikes to the popular, pre-fist-bump, hi-five. Plus, if it’s above your head and on the wall, you’re keeping it clean. Just think how many other guys’ hands you can touch…

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