Monthly Archives: November 2009

Seniõr Sprite

By | Humor | No Comments

[Business-related] road trip! / 🙁 During our three-hour route to Brownwood, TX, my superior and I stopped at McDonald’s to have lunch. Under normal conditions, fast food is never a consideration; on the way to Brownwood, it’s the only consideration. Tangent: Surprisingly, I enjoyed the burger. Not surprisingly, I didn’t eat many fries or touch the handle exiting the bathroom. Leaving, I refilled my Sprite. My boss left with what remained in his. INTERIOR: BOSS’ CAR EARLY AFTERNOON ROSS places his lidded cup next to his manager’s open cup in the center console. The danger doesn’t exist in having the two Sprites (not to be confused with small winged fairies) that close to each other. The danger exists because the seniõr driving is not a citizen of Mexico, but a citizen of the senior community. He may have saved 50% on the price of his Sprite, but if he forgets (as seniors tend to do) that his container is lidless,…

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Soft-Core Sounds

By | Humor, Really? | No Comments

It’s difficult to take the operators on the other end of a customer service call seriously when between the two, three, sometimes four outsourced representatives, are tunes reminiscent of late-night shows that funded sub-par acting and weak screenwriting with the savings from utilizing fewer props – like wardrobes, (id est, shows that are the etymology of Cinemax’s nickname). I was on hold with Sprint yesterday, four separate times, and during each forty-second separation, I … wait. I think I just figured it out. They use, (or, I suppose “re-use”), those particular sounds in order to reduce the pressure upon releasing the stress, anger and frustration they know you are bottling up. It makes sense…The ha-ha hold music misleads our minds in a direction opposite the realization that they are becoming less and less helpful (and coherent), so when (insert name I cannot pronounce) picks up the transferred call, I don’t yell. I, in a suppressed and explicative-light diatribe, explain that…

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Call Waiting Policy

By | Humor, Items to Ponder, Peeks | No Comments

You just received ten digits and her name, either on a piece of paper, your hand, a napkin, or the post-1999 method – directly into your phone. The known: You are going to call. The unknown: Everything else. How long dost thou wait to call? Two weeks? Three days? Four hours? Five minutes? If you answered five minutes then you should get accustomed to disappointment. I agree that life is too short to ponder ‘what-if?’, so if I let an hour pass by after you pass by without approaching, then I’m either too shy, or taken. That said, I also respect the call waiting policy and if she didn’t ask for your number, then it is your responsibility to interpret her CWP. Ninety-nine percent of the time, if you disrespect her CWP and call too soon, you’ll end up auditing your phone’s contacts a year later, wondering, “Who the hell is Vanessa?”* – don’t let this happen to you. *If…

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