Monthly Archives: January 2010

Emotional Elimination With A Twist Of Dragon

By | Peeks | No Comments

I received a phone call last week from the Travis County District Attorney’s Office regarding the accident I was in last July. The discussion briefly covered how I healed and the challenges related to recovering damages for the loss I incurred. Then I was asked a serious question. I was asked what I felt should be Greg’s punishment for hitting me with his car. I was overcome with a feeling that I can only peg as being discomfort. The only reason I know it was discomfort is because, through the process of elimination, I ruled out the other big emotions. Happy = smile. Sad = tear. Bashful = red cheeks. Angry = scowl. Overjoyed = the moment you discover what this ninja is hiding behind his head (:40). Initially, I wanted to lend him my bike and borrow his PT Cruiser (Greg, not the ninja) and invite him to take a trip down Memory, (Brodie), Ln. That fantasy passed. I…

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Don’t Worry, Be Colon + (closed parenthesis)

By | Humor | No Comments

Fortunately, I will never [ever] be the person to my three-o’clock. Walking into the grocery store this evening, I was reminded just how lucky I am. I looked to my immediate right, (almost hurt my non-pierced ear). Plus, I realized an obvious difference…I was wearing shoes that required tying. Lucky, or awesome? I vote both. Jealousy ensued…VELCRO™ is easy as hell to pull apart, and it’s kind-a-awesome. Tangent: over….back to the . The glow from above and below McDonald’s newest venture lit up a scene I will never star in, (or stare into (first-person))…now, or ten years from now [hopefully], I won’t be the unfortunate and lonely soul, upon two soles, (in VELCRO™ shoes nonetheless), balancing a tub of Chunky Monkey on top of a frozen Totino’s pizza in front of a Redbox wondering what movie I want to watch tonight – by. my. self. I’ll order in. And, I have Netflix. Here’s to sustainability.

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Twelve to One

By | Items to Ponder | No Comments

I woke up on last year’s first feeling refreshed, because I won the fight I was in the night before [with a bottle of NyQuil]. My last [KC] New Year’s was spent with some of my closest friends, and sixteen days later I put 735 miles in between myself and most of those individuals. We did have a pretty epic going away party (several). I lost a handful of other friends, rather acquaintances, between there and here, and even more between January 17th and yesterday. Several other friendships were strengthened – my night and weekend minutes are proof of that. So, what else did I realize between one-seventeen and one-one? You can’t put a price on friendship, but when there are zero direct flights between the city you live in and the city they do, maintaining friendships becomes quite pricey. Worth it. Shit happens. It did to me this year, to excess; but, in between those moments, I managed to…

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Sixty-two Point Five Percent

By | Humor | No Comments

So, I’m currently in day three of a four-day training session for a new marketing tool we will be using and a colleague asked a question about the provider’s uptime (related to their servers). The woman leading the session responded with something similar to: “Ninety-nine dot, I don’t know…nine, nine” I didn’t end her statement (above) with a . or ?, because I’m not sure if it was a . or a ?. Our Web Developer piped up and said, “I believe the standard is five nines. Nine, nine, dot, nine, nine, nine.” I had a momentary relapse to high school and ad-libbed a short scene from Inglourious Basterds. Five out of eight people in the session laughed (o.l.).[1] [1]: Not including the instructor (similar to high school). She must have left her sense of humor in her other khakis.

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