How-To: Line Dance

By October 22, 2010 Humor, Items to Ponder No Comments

People always talk about a line we’re not supposed to cross, (but many of us want to).

Albert Einstein said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” I try to make a mistake on a daily basis, but I never regret anything. If you learn from your mistakes, then you can surely avoid those situations pegged “regrettable” in the future.

To that end, I sometimes cross the invisible line. Feel like you’re ready to do the same?

I will use a recent story from my life to create an anecdote out of the steps one needs to take when effectively crossing the line.

  1. Situation with line arises.
    My brother and his wife just had a baby girl. The proud father takes a picture of baby girl and sends to family members who have yet to meet her – namely me.
  2. Say/do exactly what you feel like saying/doing.
    This is usually the first thought you have. I sometimes misplace my social filter and it can get me into trouble. I responded with, “You better hope she’s funny.”
  3. Time out. I love my family and I love my niece, but she looks exactly like my brother (see above). Take him, subtract 180 lbs, erase about 20 tattoos, give him a sex change and shave his face. Bam. It’s her.

  4. Analyze response.
    His delayed response was, “That’s my daughter ur talkin about.”
  5. If necessary, address any physical injuries.
    None, I’m twelve hours south and a safe distance from any slugging or slapping. Plus, I’m no longer shorter than him and have been at the gym a few times – thus, no longer his bitch in physical confrontations.
  6. Only apologize for discomfort, not your actions.
    Don’t apologize unless you’re sincerely sorry for your actions. You can always tell when someone is faking an apology. Two words: Tiger Woods. I said, “She looks exactly like you!” (Notice how I skirted an apology.)
  7. Move along.
    Life is short. I doubled-back and texted: “So, when do I get to meet him?”

I’m relentless.

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