Sale Enhancement

By October 6, 2010 Humor, Really? No Comments

Disclaimer: This post is rated PG-13 for L and SC

INDOORS – – APPLEBEE’S – – EVENING

ROSS enters an empty restroom, noticing there are no urinals, he approaches the stall on the right with the door partially open. He urinates.

Amid summer night’s stream, the DOOR OPENS and the FAUCET TURNS ON.

Ross returns everything to it’s proper place and rotates to be surprised by an impromptu greeting from a YOUNG AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN.

Ross is uncomfortable with this situation, for one main reason: He does not engage in conversation with strangers in the men’s room.

The young man sparks a conversation.

YOUNG MAN
(washing his hands)
How’s it going?

Unbeknownst to Ross, this is a sales pitch.

ROSS
Doin’ well…You?

YOUNG MAN
Have you ever heard of male enha…enhance…

ROSS
(interrupting)
Enhancement?

YOUNG MAN
Yeah. Male enhancement. You ever heard of it?

—–SPOILER ALERT: This is how it ends.—–

ROSS
Yeah.

YOUNG MAN
(washing his hands for no apparent reason)
Would you ever try it?

Ross immediately realizes he is the lucky recipient of real-life SPAM and chuckles.

ROSS
Hell no.

The DICK PILL PEDDLER looks shocked.

YOUNG MAN
Why not?

While the scene is not complete, I’m going to conclude writing this as a scene, and hit you with some standard first-person editorial.

There are several reasons I responded “no” to his final question. One, being I would never buy male enhancement pills in the restroom, let alone the restroom of my neighborhood bar and grill!

He pegged me as the typical clientele. And, why not? I possess an obvious feature which led him to presume I’m below average: white skin.

I don’t support stereotypes, but statistics do, and stereotypes exist because they are mostly true.

All-in-all, I was more amused than put off. My real life SPAM filter was off.

I marked his message as junk, moved him to the trash, left the restroom and returned to a meal fit for a teeny weenie.

Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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