Hot Garbage And Other Simple Things

By June 8, 2011 Humor, Peeks One Comment

June 5 –
I woke up Wednesday morning and while waiting on my ride I got some chores taken care of, listed below in order of least favorite to less-least favorite:

– Scooped the cat poop
– Bagged the cat poop
– Threw the cat poop in the trash
– Cleaned the toilet
– Made my bed
– Ate a banana

Let’s face it. Eating healthy is sometimes a chore. Regardless, go time was rapidly approaching and my ride’s phone was off. Initial thoughts included a barrage of four-letter words.

Not wanting to miss my flight, I waited thirty more seconds and:

– Took the trash out

Then, headed downstairs to my car, put the trash bag in the back seat, returned upstairs to grab my luggage and lock up, and finally went back down to my car to leave for the airport.

I arrived at the extended-stay parking lot with the same white, cat-poop-filled trash bag in my back seat.

Are you familiar with the feeling of knowing something horrible is going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it except wait? I am.

The remainder of the week was filled with conference presentations at ADMERICA, the American Advertising Federation’s National Conference, work, visiting old friends and making new ones.

In between waking hours, I slept on an air mattress which seemed to magically lose 18-20% of it’s pressure while I slept. Nothing like going to bed on a plate and waking up in a bowl.

Willow quotes were also in heavy rotation along with new slang/terms like mahalo, totes mcgotes, gnarly and f’sho.

Being aboard the USS Midway gave me a new appreciation (and awe) for battle ships, and being with two of my oldest friends gave me a new appreciation for friendships. Sometimes we lose sight of what’s important and need to take a step or two in the other direction to regain a fondness for the simpler things in life.

Like swings.1

I returned home with a sunburn, sand in my shoes and luckily/unlucky no more allergies. Luckily because my senses (hearing/smelling/tasting) were all in working order. Unlucky because my sense of smell and taste were in working order.

Even though I put the trash bag in my trunk before I left, (with the opening hanging out to try and seal it shut with the pressure from the trunk lid), when I opened my driver-side door (reluctantly) I was punched in the face.2

Not by a dwarf car thief, not by a full-sized car thief, but by the smell of hot garbage. Imagine how awful a bag of cat crap and vegetable scraps will smell after five days of ninety-plus degree heat.

If you gagged, you have an inkling of how bad it smelled.

June 11 –
Needless to say, my sunroof, windows and mouth were open most of last week.

[1] see below video.
[2] see above image.

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