My First Movember

By November 11, 2011 Humor, Items to Ponder No Comments

The “Birds-and-Bees” discussion with my dad didn’t prepare me for the changes I’ve seen over the past eleven days.

FYI: I’m currently listening to the ‘Top Gun’ soundtrack.1

November, or “Movember,” is dedicated to increasing the awareness of men’s health risks, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men, by encouraging men everywhere to sport their ‘stache.

In addition to the rise in Woolly Willy-esque beards, I’ve noticed several other changes in my daily activities and life in general. See the chart (below) for reference.

The Movember Effect

As you’ll note, my testosterone has steadily increased, while failing (e.g. papercuts, spelling errors, tripping, etc.) is on the decline.

In addition, I’ve experienced an average of a 30% boost in all of my man-skills, like bear hunting (without the use of forged weaponry), arm-wrestling, wood-chopping, cage-fighting and putting out fires.

My awesomeness has grown significantly, spiking sharply on November 7, when I remembered to call my sister on her birthday, and the time it takes to regenerate my strength after shot-putting small children (and other basic exercises) has been reduced by almost 50%!

That said, men’s health is no joke. Please show your support of me, my team and #Movember by pledging a donation. Any amount helps.

Hell, I may just send you a lip-locke of my man-stache.

[1] minus “Take My Breath Away”

Leave a Reply